go do what you do best...puke behind churches
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
