he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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