Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
