Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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