It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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