how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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