I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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