i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
