let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
