Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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