This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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