Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
