i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
