My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
