great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
