and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
