I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
