I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
honey bunches of taint.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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