ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
