funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
