Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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