There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
