so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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