My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
