I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
