what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
