I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
