I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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