eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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