Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she peed on how many people?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
