There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
