i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
