i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
