It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think i have herpe
just one?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize