Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
