We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
