Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
