The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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