I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What a dumb baby whore.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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