So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
