New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
