I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
