Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
