She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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