apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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