party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
