I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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