i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
