Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
