these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
