I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
