i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
