I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
