He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
