Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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