"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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