She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
