Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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