I'm jealous of your bromance
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
