i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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