just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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