smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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